Sunday, April 10, 2011

Will the storm now leave!

First off, isn't this picture so painterly?  I love a good oil painting of clouds.  It seems like Jamie, the photographer, captured that same feeling.  I hope you all like it as well.  Check out her blog here.  I love her peaceful images and interesting take on the world she sees. 

Here is where the self centered post begins.  It is the busy season.  I feel like I will be diving into an ocean of work... "will be" being the operative word.  I need to be drowning in silk and tulle and late late nights.  I haven't.  I got sick.  Not just a day of down time but a weeks worth of down time.  Dang.  I want to be so overwhelmed that I just get a ton done.  Not in the cards.  

Not only do I feel yucky but the weather is bad.  Yes, snow and slush and overcast skies.  Come on, it is April!  So I have time to stress that I am not getting anything done yet I don't have the physical capabilities to do anything.  Let's add on the feeling of being pretty out there as far as geography.  When I step out of the house for fresh air, my main worry is cougar or some other predator getting me.  I don't need to worry about the neighbors seeing me in my jammies.  Maybe I would rather worry about the neighbors than a wild animal.  I love where I live, but when I am sick, it seems way too far away from the grocery store or the nearest neighbor. 

Anyway, we went down to town for church today.  One of my sweet friends gave me a hug right at my breaking point.  So I cried.  I couldn't help it.  I swear, though, that crying really can help.  I imagine it must release some great chemical that makes everything okay.  Of course I was surrounded by great women that I call my friends.  So we had a short counseling session and discussed how it will be okay.... and it will be.  In a minute. 

In a way, it is better already.  I am sitting in the sun, peacefully, without the weight of wedding gowns on me.... Wait, that part about me sitting here without the weight.  Well, that isn't really true.  The weight I feel is just less than before.  More of a handle-able level. 

What I really really want is to make each one of these upcoming dresses so cool.  I want to love each and every one of them.  Even their imperfections that hopefully only I can see.  Could I achieve this?  I will have to let you know. 

Thanks for listening.  I promise to quit posting depressing posts.  M

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