Sunday, September 11, 2011

Missing

Here is the set up for this one.  I have been working a lot.  I have been overwhelmed most of the time.  I have seen another summer go away.  It is fall.  I am sad.  I keep imagining that the summer will magically extend itself just by my will alone.  My will is not strong enough even though I believe it should be. 

Here is the story.

I am standing in the fabric store purchasing some Tiffany Blue embroidery floss, something I needed to complete my last dress of the busy season.  A man brings in a little boy.  He told the clerk that he saw the boy walking down State street, which is a very busy road.  The clerk called the police to report the lost boy.  She told the dispatcher that the boy is wearing blue and green P.J.'s, he's about two and a half, and he's blond.  I notice he has a cute hair cut.  She then sits him on the counter to wait.  That is when I started to cry a bit.  I was trying hard not to.... the clerk didn't seem to think anything of the situation.  I did.  I couldn't comprehend how the mother of this little one was feeling at that moment.  I did have the slight understanding, though, because I was feeling that way about my boys just then. 

Two minutes later the mother rushes into the store.  She must have already been working with the police to find her little boy.  She hugged him while saying, "you scared me to death."  This is where I start to cry out right, without control.  Even though I have spent my fair share of time in fabric stores, this crying in them was a first.  She told us that he as autism and as she was taking the garbage out, he just took off.  It makes sense now, because the boy was very confidently showing me his dinosaur and was not troubled that his mom wasn't around.  He was in control of the situation.  

This is where I left the store, climbed into my car and cried.  This is the season for mourning.  Our nation is doing it officially today.  The world is mourning in one way or another because of war, drought, financial crisis, natural disasters, etc, etc.   

In my little insignificant way, I was feeling this sadness.  I miss my little boys.  I miss all of the time that hurries by without me appreciating the family I have around me.  At least these times give us all a chance to take a look around and decide what is important. 

I do hope people find themselves in good places, with people they love.  I do.  I just now need the time to actually be with those people.  I have it now.  Phewww!  I am looking forward to being a mama and wife and a dressmaker along side. 

Good night.  M

Oh, how I hope this isn't the silliest of blog entries.  I know it might not make sense to any of you.  It is what I needed to express.  Thanks for humoring me.

2 comments:

Emily Heizer Photography said...

Oh Mel. Not at all.

I think this was the most important post you have ever written.

I'm so glad she got her little boy back, safe and sound.

I hope you got a nice big hug from your husband and boys when you got home.

(tight smile)

It was a hard day for me too.

LaynahRose said...

You have a kind heart...I notice the older I get the more emotional I become as well :) I think we all know that feeling of feeling silly after we cry! You will find that your will is indeed strong enough, I'm sure.